How many girlfriends do you have? A good tight group? Or like many, none at all? Are you one of those women who claims: “I don’t get along with women that well.” Or “I deal better with men because they’re less drama.” I used to be one of those women also and I wondered why that was. I was afraid of getting to know and trust women on because of the back-biting and gossip typically associated with women.
I’ve met many young women who have said the same thing and would much rather keep the company of males. There’s nothing with have male friends, but having only male friends sure is lopsided! I love my husband very much and one of my best friends is a man and I know while they are sympathetic to my menstruation plight, they have no idea what I’m going through. They also don’t know how a good shoe shopping spree might be good for the soul. They sure as hell don’t want to spend all day watching reruns of Girlfriends with me. That’s what girlfriends are for!
But for some reason women are good at “hating” on one another. As a black women, I can see it clearly within my own race. Instead of finding the friend who we can trust, fall back on, cry with, shop with ect., we’re caught up with the superficial stuff. Hair: where did you buy it and who does it. Clothes: Who are you wearing? Cars, shoes, handbags. . . so on and so forth.
But think about it. Your sister (yes, that’s what she is) is just like you. She’s got your stresses, your worries, your hopes and your aspirations. She’s a woman, just like you, living as an oppressed female in a male dominated world, just like you. For all you know, she might have it worse than you. Her boyfriend might be knocking her upside her head nightly, but all you see if her cute Prada bag and you shut down.
Well please, for the sake of sisterhood and friendship, don’t shut down.
The next time you see a woman, black or white, you need to give her a smile, “hello,” or friendly nod of the head. Let her know that it’s okay to let her guard down. Let her know that you’ve got her back. Let her know that you understand where she’s coming from. Who knows maybe she too will one day stop saying things like: “I just don’t like women, they’re haters!”
Help her begin to love herself.